Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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