Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
