grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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