fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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