Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
