What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
