you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
