cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize