I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
