Jerry, you need to find god
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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