you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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