He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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