its not stalking. its research.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
