That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't turn off my feet"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
