its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
