He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize