My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Me. At least after what I've been through.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
