Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
