god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
