Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
