He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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