The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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