dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
