after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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