You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
