Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
