We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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