morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I supernannyed him into submission
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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