I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
