I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
