Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You pole danced in your parka.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
