I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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