if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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