dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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