my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
