Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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