I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
