he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
