the new term for farting is butt boxing.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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