Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
