I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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