Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
