Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
