I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
