he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
