I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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