so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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