bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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