Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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