Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
