the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
