Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she smelled like a LAN party
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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