dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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