I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
