Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
