I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
