I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
