i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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