i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize