My friends, they love my intelligence
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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