did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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