you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
