If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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